The importance of staying in your own lane

A conversation with a friend a few week's back inspired me to write a little something on the importance of "staying in your own lane". Obviously, this saying refers to both driving in your designated lane, as well as focusing on yourself (and not other peoples dramas/achievements/goals) and for the record, I am going to talk about the latter in this post!

It is easier said than done...'Just stay focused on yourself, Danie', 'Ignore what so and so is doing, Danie', 'Don't worry unnecessarily over things you can't control, Danie'... all of these things are so hard to do! That cliched quote of "comparison is the thief of joy" really does what it says on the tin. It is EASY to get swept along with the tide of comparison. It sucks you in and then spits you right back out again and before you know it; you're 45 weeks deep on Instagram, on someone's page and feeling like a big bag of shit cos your life ain't so great.

STOP IT! Just stop it.
Do YOU, honey. Do you.

My number one problem when it comes to staying focused on my own journey is when I let the fact I have a chronic illness consume me. In my head, I feel ok... (I mean I have anxiety, and I over worry, and I have Fibro Fog due to my chronic condition) BUT it's my body/pain that lets me down the majority of the time.

I want to achieve SO much, but I physically can't/severely struggle. When I am at my worst, I am home for days on end, lying on my bed/sofa and glued to my phone. I see fellow bloggers posting content, I see friends and family smashing work targets/life goals...and there's little old me, just lying in my four day old PJs and wondering if I'm going to be dropped by my management, forgotten in the blogging world or ever get married/have a baby. That shit eats me alive. I can get so worked up about it at times.

I need to learn to shut it out. Focus on my personal journey, and you need to do the same!

The "joy" of my condition is that I have good days and I have bad days. Even on my good days, I am still in severe pain, but I can put a front on and tackle the day. I need to remember that I do A LOT for someone with chronic pain and I should be really proud of myself and what I manage to/have accomplish/ed.

If you too are struggling with these feelings of self-doubt/jealously then I urge you to join me in attempting to put a lid on it in 2018... (as much as possible)! We need to learn to notice when we are being sucked in by those niggling feelings and we need to step away from the situation. Put the phone down, so you get off Instagram. Write a list of all the good shit you've achieved that week/month/ year. Call or text someone and just tell them straight, tell them "I'm having a confidence wobble and I need some reassurance."

Shop My Look

1. Jumper - lots of similar jumpers here | 2. Skirt - similar here | 3. Boots similar here | 4. Clutch bag similar here

Sadly ALL of the items I am wearing in this post aren't available online anymore but I have tried my best to link similar items.

Photography by JKGPhotography

The friend I was talking to last week gave me some tough love via text. They said:

"I think it's not helpful for you to keep comparing yourself to others."

"I say this with love and adoration."

"Put that energy into being even more amazing."

Bamn! It is just what I NEEDED (I can't say at the time, it was what I WANTED) to hear. It was one of those lightbulb moments. My friend had given me a much-needed boot up the ass, and I am here to do the same for you...

Focus your energy/time spent hating on others/time spent being jealous of others, on YOU!

In 2018 (and beyond) we need to remember that we are all different and that we were all put on this bonkers planet to achieve greatness...in our own special way, at our own special pace.

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  1. You are such an incredible inspirational beautiful woman. This is just what I needed to hear. As someone who also suffers from chronic pain mine is specifically my back,my confidence definitely takes a beating and I do focus on the things I don't have or can't do rather than all the things I can. You do so much and you are just amazing. Thank you for sharing this. I'm sure you will help so many others who feel a similar way. Lots of love xx

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